Okay – ‘dinner with the Ezzo’s’

Yes, you read that title correctly, my husband and I were recently invited for dinner to the Ezzo’s home, with clear instructions to please bring our 2 1/2 yr old daughter, Isabelle. We are so privileged to have Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo living near us, and we have been even more honored to have them teach us some of their curriculum in our home.

Ok, my first thought after receiving the invitation was to procrastinate setting a date for at least two weeks (we’re really busy people :) using that time to train like a mad Momma to make Isabelle perfect. Then I realized how silly that was, Mommy won’t be perfect in two weeks …so against my first instinct, I chose: one night away.

The next day we vamped up our training. I hadn’t begun using the interrupt courtesy [rule] with her yet, mainly because we are still working on so much I had just put that on the back burner for a while. Not sure what possessed me, but thought certainly Isabelle could master learning the process in one day! Amazingly enough during our training time that day she did it beautiful!. She was even able to explain both the process and why to Daddy. Going good.

Next training activity: table time, coloring after dinner at the table to allow us to sit and talk. We have done this occasionally in our home so not new but something to work on. She aced it!

Finally, discussion and practice of how to greet and talk to the Ezzo’s. Perfection may not be that unreasonable after all.

So feelin’ good, we loaded the car the following night and were on our way. Isabelle was well-rested, had a snack, and even said she was excited about going to dinner at the Ezzo’s.

When we arrived Mrs. Ezzo greeted us and Isabelle did well. We then met their sweet dog Missy and Isabelle gave the dog a treat she had brought. All still going well. Next, Mr. Ezzo greeted us and gave us a tour of their garden-which was amazing!

When Isabelle was called, she paused; giving her my best “look”, she immediately responded with: “Yes, Mommy coming” causing her Momma to beam with pride. Just as I was beginning to feel a little prideful…

It was time for dinner and things rapidly ‘went south’; Isabelle interrupted too much and about halfway through dinner gave a loud scream. I assumed out of frustration, since she had been trying to get my attention and I was not responding quick enough to her liking. Fortunately, we were able to help her to reel in her emotions and she even apologized appropriately.

During our social time after dinner, Isabelle was excused from the table and given books to look at. She actually decided she didn’t want to sit and read instead, she decided her little hands would like to touch things that “are a No”!

So what did I learn as Mommy?

  • First – although we frequently have dinner time at home we discovered we don’t practice enough ’sitting’ without the conversation rotating around Isabelle. With just one child it’s very easy for dinner to be short and sweet. Even at grandma’s when there are more people around the table, Isabelle is the star.
  • Second, as Isabelle has become older, the boundaries in our home have also expanded. What I realized when visiting in someone else’s home, be it the Ezzo’s or yours, given Isabelle’s age and as her parents we should have worked on setting boundaries shortly after our arrival.
  • Third, I should have excused myself from the after dinner conversation and provided eye to eye instruction.
  • Finally, Anne Marie e-mailed me after our visit, “It was fun having the Wood family over for dinner – Isabelle did very well and we can tell you guys are ‘working on it’ :-) Keep up the good work – it is a process.”Such encouraging words in spite of what seemed to me like a failure of an evening in may ways. Currently I am listening to a “Mom’s Notes” providing the reminder to keep my expectations in check while continuing to “work on it!” My prayer for us all during this season of parenting is to find that happy medium of motivation and patience, especially during those times we may be experiencing frustration and yes even a little embarrassment when all is not going as planned.