Appetite, we have all experienced it. Even now as I write this section, my mind drifts to the pleasant memory of last night’s din­ner. There is a tempting slice of pizza left over and while I realize that I’m not really hungry, my memory tells me that the taste of mozzarella is something I would really enjoy, even though I had breakfast an hour ago. So how is it that our tummy says “No” to food, but our pleasure senses scream, “Bring it on”? That’s what appetite does. Appetite does not respond to need but to want. It’s a pleasure sensation, triggered by the sight, smell and memory of the plea­sure of food.

Unfortunately, we tend to interchange the words, hunger and appetite as if they mean the same thing. They don’t because they are two completely different biological processes. Hunger is a physical sensation. It is a response caused by a drop in blood sugar, which in turn sends a message to the brain calling for more food. Appetite on the other hand, is external and driven by desire, regardless of actual need.

How does this apply to toddlers and mealtime? If you’re the type of mother who is concerned that your child will not get enough food, there is a tendency to allow the child’s appetite to control what you serve rather than his actual hunger. You place scrambled eggs in front of your two-year-old, who rejects them outright — even though they were fine yesterday. So you ask, “Would you like toast instead?” When your toddler hesitates, you then say, “Okay, how about toast with a little jam on it?”

Wait! Who is in control here? Is it Mom or the child’s appetite? There will always be a time for fun foods, but when they are served to the point that Mom is no longer making the food decisions, then she fosters an unwelcome mealtime habit — the unpredictable spirit of the ‘picky eater’.