What should a parent do when their child suddenly refuses to eat a food that up to yesterday was his favorite? Our first response is to tell you not to worry about it because this is not uncommon during the toddler phase. Children do not view food the way adults do. A favorite food is something they might delight in every day for two weeks while an adult can easily tire of the same food after two days. If the “all of a sudden” distaste happens with your little one, examine whether the challenge is a:

1. Nutrition Issue: The child needs the food because it is important to his diet.

2. Submission Issue: The child is saying “No” to Mom and not the food.

3. Appetite Issue: The child is hooked on preference.

4. Mommy Issue: “I’m the mother and you will learn to like this food!”

If the primary concern is nutrition, camouflage the item in other foods. Hide those formally favorite green beans in a scrambled egg, or mix them into your homemade goodies. If submission is the issue, this will show up in other areas throughout the day. Work on “Mommy knows best” in the moments of challenge rather than make food the issue. If it’s an appetite issue, revisit the types of treats offered during the day. And lastly, if it is a ‘Mommy’ issue, offer small samples of food without insisting the child eat everything. Be patient. One day your child will enjoy the same foods the family enjoys.

Choosing Your Battles Well

What if you know your toddler likes a particular food, but stubbornly refuses to eat it? Here is a story we first shared in the Preparation for the Toddler Years series that had a happy and productive ending. One day eighteen-month-old Jenna decided to go on a fruit strike. She knew if she waited long enough, Mom might give in and substitute some fun tasting carbo­hydrates in place of her banana. But Mom had other plans. Realizing a pattern was developing and knowing bananas were a favorite food, Mom served Jenna a small portion and then applied her motherly resolve. Jenna protested. That is when her highchair was moved to a boring spot in the kitchen and the battle of the wills began. An hour-and-a-half later, Jenna surren­dered to Mom and the bananas were gone. (Yes, there was some fussing but it was matched by motherly wisdom, calm and resolve.) End of story? Not yet. The next morning Mom placed a serving of bananas on Jenna’s plate.

We wish we could report all went perfectly on day two, but Jenna went on strike again. This time however, only for forty-five minutes. Suddenly, the bananas were gone and Jenna was happy. The next day, Mom offered a few grapes with the bananas. The fruit-hunger strike was over in ten seconds. Since that episode, Jenna eats whatever Mom places in front of her. For Jenna’s Mom, this was a combination of three issues; nutrition, submission and appetite. All three became players in the scenario, but all three were conquered with Mom’s resolve in keeping Jenna in the highchair until her meal was done. Please note that Mom did not have a need to win this battle for her sake. She was motivated to win it for Jenna’s sake. Will this strategy work for all children? We don’t know. But without resolve or clear nutritional goals, food challenges will begin to grow with your toddler in frequency and complexity.