Gary & I have been talking about this very thing, well not people driving while talking on their cell phone [afraid we can’t cast that stone] anyway, we try to be careful, but that isn’t the point. It’s the idea that so often young parents begin their journey without a plan and wonder why after less than 2 years thinking … this parenting things is NO FUN. Now admittedly, it isn’t always ‘fun’ … but the idea behind the thought of it not being fun, is really, I can’t manage this child, our life is chaotic, only bit of sanity is when I go to work! Keeping one’s focus is so important and once again Ami has a very unique way of reminding us of that. Enjoy … btw this is taken from her blog Yada2know’s.

Anne Marie

Have you noticed how you can almost always tell when you are driving behind someone who is talking on their cell phone while driving? It’s irritating. They are all over the place and don’t even know it. In fact, I’ve driven with a couple of people who I would consider excellent and skillful drivers – until they answer their phones. Suddenly they don’t know where to turn, their speed varies and they are unaware of the fact that they are now straddling lane lines! There’s no hand available to turn on the blinker so that goes out the window along with reaction times and peripheral vision.

The scariest aspect of this is that they are completely oblivious to their sudden ineptness. They think they are just as capable on the phone as off. They are clueless to the fact that they look like they deserve a blinking bump sticker that screams, “STUDENT DRIVER”!

It makes me wonder how many of us drive through life like this, focused on so many things that we are really focused on nothing at all. We start off headed in the right direction, but then lose our focus and wander through the maze of the tyranny of the urgent.

Each of us needs to decide what our life’s focus is going to be and pursue it with singleness of heart. That doesn’t mean that I don’t do anything but that one thing, but it means that in everything I am called upon to do, my priority shines through. If my singular focus is to pursue an intimate relationship with God, that is my destination and whether I am cleaning the house, caring for a friend, raising my children or loving my husband, my pursuit of God is central and seen in all I do. I would choose to do things in an excellent way and for His glory.

This may mean that some things are cut out of my life, things I may have enjoyed, but would take me in a different direction than my one pursuit. Cutting things out may seem painful, but how much more painful would it be to reach my life’s end and realize I had never reached my destination? I’m not saying we should never give ourselves time to have rest, relaxation and recreation! Our gracious Lord made this world for us to enjoy and rest is part of being able to do our very best at our primary focus.

Nevertheless, there are pressures to do everything in an effort to “have it all.” And there are fleshly pressures that pull us away from what is of paramount importance. We need to learn to let the things of this world fall to the wayside. We need to establish what our primary focus is going to be and build our lives around that instead of letting our lives squeeze out what is most essential to the core of our existence. We need to know where we are going and not let anything deter us. We need to hang up and drive!

“In everything that he undertook in the service of God’s temple and in obedience to the law and the commands, he sought his God and worked wholeheartedly. And so he prospered.” 2 Chronicles 31:21

Permission granted by Tim and Ami Loper of Miracle Books.  Ami also blogs at Yada, Yada, Yada.

One thing I don’t understand about consistency is why our children’s obedience is so dependent on it! Why do they gamble that if we didn’t correct them one time they may get away with it this time? Why must they constantly check the boundaries to insure they are there? Why do they start acting up when I am the most tired and feel least like being consistent? Why?

I may never understand why consistency is so vital and must be so vigilantly maintained, but that doesn’t change the fact that that’s just the way it is. I find that many of us parents are inconsistent because we fail to see the connection between inconsistency and behavioral issues. We scratch our heads and wonder what on earth is going on with our youngster and think the fault must surely lie with someone other than ourselves. What could we possibly have done? The answer: Nothing!

We did nothing when our child walked away when we told them to come to us. We did nothing about that little under-the-breath comment we heard, but ignored. We did nothing when we knew their heart was screaming rebellion while they were sullenly compliant. We did nothing all week.

Why are we inconsistent? Sometimes physical or psychological exhaustion seems to be a weight that lays over us like a lead blanket, keeping us from standing up to deal with the issues. Maybe it hits you at the end of the day or right after lunch, but whenever it is, it’s important that you recognize it as an enemy to your parenting and throw off the lead blanket and deal with the issue.

Perhaps we are inconsistent because of battle fatigue. Similar to the above, but caused by frequently having to deal with a particular child on a particular issue, this is possibly the worst time to give in. If you do, you have just successfully taught your child where or what your consistency limit is. They will likely try to push you to this point tomorrow.

Another cause of inconsistency is the ostrich effect. Perhaps, though obvious to all around, we just don’t want to acknowledge that there is an issue. This is the parent who chooses to not address the underlying attitude in the rolling eyeballs. We will not see the problem go away if we ignore it (as we are hoping). We will only watch helplessly as the problem grows. It is so much better to deal with the smaller issues; it will avoid so many of the larger ones.

Inconsistency can also be a product of the “Let’s only be happy” philosophy. This philosophy is noble and, to be sure, children will often reflect our attitude, making it very important that the attitude we display is a cheerful one. However, nothing spoils a good day like an increasingly rebellious child. Though we want to make things happy and cheerful in our homes, it is important to deal with an obedience or attitude problem immediately. Then make sure you forgive, restore and go back to cheerfulness! Nipping it in the bud will keep your home happier than obedience or attitude problem immediately. Then make sure you forgive, restore and go back to cheerfulness! Nipping it in the bud will keep your home happier than trying to overlook it and plod on.

Maybe you have other reasons for being inconsistent, but whatever they are, they aren’t worth it. Inconsistency has a way of sapping the joy out of parenting because you never making any progress and are constantly dealing with the same issue. One way we remember to stay consistent is to reflect on the consequences of inconsistency. It became my mental mantra to tell myself, “If I don’t deal with this now, I’ll deal with it ten times later.”

I may not comprehend why children are so dependent on consistency, but I see that it is true. They are sweet and loving and adorable, but they do push our limits! I guess I’ll eat my veggies so I can enjoy my dessert later.

Permission granted by Tim and Ami Loper of Miracle Books.  Ami also blogs at Yada, Yada, Yada.

Truly the Psalmist said it aright when he penned that, “Sons are a heritage from the Lord” and they are “like arrows in the hands of a warrior.” After all, what exactly do arrows in the hands of a warrior do but go beyond that warrior? They shoot from the warrior’s position and accomplish what the warrior cannot from his location. They are more than knife or sword that stay with the warrior. They fly from the hands reaching places we cannot reach and perhaps never even imagined.

I don’t know about you, but that’s what I want for my children. I want to them to go beyond me, to accomplish more than I have, to experience more of all God has for them. But why is it that so many only seem to repeat history? I’m afraid a good amount of the responsibility could go to the warrior. After all, he was the one who was aiming and shooting. While children eventually have all the responsibility for what they chose to do in life, the warrior has some responsibilities while the arrow is still in his hands!

The Arrow. While we are not expecting to release perfect “arrows” or children, we need to be inspecting them and, to the best of our ability, be smoothing out the barbs and flaws we can see. Of course, we are not God and we are dependent on Him to do the heart-work in our children, but we are responsible to help our children in being prepared to fly — not only in the natural areas, but also the spiritual. We need to be the ones instructing our children in righteousness. We need to be seeking the Lord, listening for Him to tell us what He wants us to work on with our children. When my arrows fly off the bow, I want them to fly straight, not wavering because they were not smoothed well by me.

The Target. Where are our arrows flying to? Are we just releasing them without aiming them, hoping they will hit something … anything? We need to be training and encouraging our children in the direction they are headed. Again, this needs to be our focus not just in the natural, but also the spiritual. Does your child have a career aspiration you can help him/her develop? Does your child have a ministry calling you can help him/her launch? What are your child’s hopes for the future? What are his/her spiritual gifts? Your children will go far when they are released with purpose!

The Shot. When shooting a bow and arrow, we must have sure footing, careful aim, strength to go the distance and the skill to let go at the proper time. What is the foundation you are standing on as you shoot your arrows? When we have a foundation other than the Word of God, we will be shooting in vain. What is your aim? Speak words of life and hope over your children. Do you have the strength? When we are too busy and distracted to take aim and shoot with purpose and strength, I’m not sure we can expect to hit the target or even send the arrow flying. Are you ready to release? Releasing either too soon or too late will negatively affect your arrow’s flight. Release too soon and it won’t fly far. Release too late and it will drop at your feet.

Yes, being a parent is amazing. So much hangs on what we do. There is so much purpose and calling locked up in each child and the Lord calls upon us to help release it! I want my children to be instruments of change in the world. That’s what legacy is all about. So fly, my arrows, FLY!

SCRIPTURE:

“For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD by doing what is right and just.” Genesis 18:19

FUN IDEA OF THE QUARTER:

Okay, I know the idea of a Family Night has been hammered into our American thinking, but it’s an idea that is so good, it deserves revisiting. Sometimes, things get so hectic that it can be the first thing to be sacrificed, but we need to stand our ground and refuse to allow it to be stolen from us! Family Nights are a vital time to reconnect and spend time in camaraderie.

We recently found out that one of our children hates to play games! We were astounded as this is what our family time has generally revolved around. Although we will never give up playing games (if we gave up everything one member of the family dislikes, we’d never do anything!), she can look forward to having an equal opportunity to choose what we do – and she can learn to cope with the likes of others!

Try fishing around for new ideas for your Family Nights if they have gotten a bit stale. Find a new card game on the internet for free or purchase a new board game. Try getting together with another family for games once in a while. What about a walk around the neighborhood followed by a fun movie? Can you bake together? Brainstorm ideas as a family! And have FUN!!!

Permission granted by Tim and Ami Loper of Miracle Books.