With children either just back to school or looking toward vacation, let alone homework or chores that need to be done, every parent at one time or another will deal with a ‘distracted child’. Whether the child is ‘characterized’ by such behavior or just an occasional distraction, even the most patient mom seems to become frustrated when something is not done in a timely manner, let alone the mom who is learning to ‘develop patience’. Belinda Letchford who lives in a remote part of Western Australia wrote the following article. Belinda and her husband are GFI-Australia leaders, she also serves as a Contact Mum and home schools their 4 children. You can read more on her blog http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/belindaletchford. I personally thought the following would be helpful to anyone dealing with the distracted child and for those with younger children, there are some good principles to put into action as you are training your little ones in 1^st time obedience, focusing on virtue of diligence and perseverance. Remember; begin as you mean to go.

Blessings, Anne Marie

It is a never-ending task (or at least it seems like it is) when one of you children is easily distracted.  We (the mums) seem to be forever reminding, following up, and catching up because they didn’t get to it!

Here are a few things that I’m working on at the moment: Clear understanding of what needs to be done haven’t used Managers of their Chores, but one of my friend’s has used the tool from Mangers of their Chores, which is to make a wearable list so that the child has it with them throughout chore time, until they report back to Mum to say all is done.  Seems like a good idea for the distractible child.

When I consider how I best stay on track (and my mother wrote lists for me at 10 years old because I kept forgetting what she told me to do), I work best if my list is written up fresh.  I love the idea of a check list that is photocopied and is the same every day etc but reality is if I write the list, if I process as I’m writing then I do better.  I wonder if my distractible child is the same – more than likely!!

So instead of a reproducible check list that gets looked at each day I am going to write her a fresh list every day.  Yes, this will take time but… it will be time where we will be together, reviewing what needs to be done.  After all she isn’t remembering herself so she obviously needs more training!  As I write the list she’ll watch me and hear me as I talk about each task.  Involving more of her 5-senses has to be a good thing!

Simply done – we get together at the beginning of each chore session, I write a quick list of what is expected of her, talking about it as we go.  She takes the list and is responsible to bring it back to me – ticked off if she likes, when it is all done.  Hands on reminders!

Clear time frame My distractible child has a different understanding of time than I do. Her understanding of time is that it is a concept of space that needs to be filled with fun things!    We have talked about the fact that time is a set thing – I can’t create more time for her.  If she chooses to use her time unwisely, then she runs out of time for the things that she wants to do.  I cannot create more time.

A timer helps.  This then becomes her personal race against time, rather than a reaction against me.

Motivation – reward at the end I think a reward may help her as she develops this skill of staying focused and not being distracted.  The best reward I can think of, and it is a natural consequence that is consistent with anyone, is that when you complete a task on time, or earlier, you have free time.

I am going to ‘dangle’ free time as the reward/consequence of staying focused.  Free time to use as she desires.

Consequences If I look back at the consequences of her dawdling that I listed at the beginning of this post it seems that I suffer the consequences.  I am the one who completes the tasks she should have done, but ran out of time for.  I am the one that reminds, encourages, and coerces.  Shouldn’t be!

So first thing – I need to recognize the natural consequences of her dawdling (things not being done) and have her complete them in her play time.

My Responsibilities Whenever I start a training programme I have to look at my part to play not just the childs.

1. Have I trained (in this case, she has the skills for the tasks that have been given, but I will be helping her, guiding her to develop focus skills)
2. Does she have appropriate times to do the tasks assigned?
3. Do I follow up and inspect – she will push the limits if I’m not onto it and training will go down the tube!

How have you helped your child learn to focus?

Earlier this year we set our sights on scripting, writing and taping the GIFT series (a contemporary DVD presentation focusing on parenting children between the ages of three to eight years). However, in late January we took what we thought would be a short detour to update the Preparation for Parenting curriculum. That detour turned into a major journey leading to a fully revised DVD presentation and workbook. With the aide of sixty-member support cast and after eight hundred production hours, we are pleased to announce that the DVDs will be in the GFI warehouse on September 7, 2010, and available for U.S. shipping destinations on that date. If you are planning to lead a Preparation for Parenting class this fall, here are a few facts to consider when preparing your schedule.

Regarding the DVD series: Introductory Price: $39.00

Whether a seasoned Preparation for Parenting leader, or a first time purchaser the introductory price for the new series makes it very affordable to upgrade to the sixth edition. This introductory pricing expires on October 30, 2010. (Student workbooks are not included in the price.)

Regarding the updated 6^th edition Preparation for Parenting workbook:

While the newly revised Preparation for Parenting workbook were fully revised and expanded, the book will not be available until late October (2010). However, we have a workable alternative for those starting fall classes using the new sixth edition DVDs.

Regarding starting classes with New DVD series without the updated workbook:

For Prep classes starting this September or October, we suggest leaders provide each family a fifth edition Preparation for Parenting workbook and then replace it when the new sixth edition workbook becomes available. GFI will help underwrite this expense by offering the fifth edition workbook for $3.00 and the replacement sixth edition book for $3.00. Together, the total cost of the two books with shipping will be less then a standard order under normal circumstances.

As a Prep Leader, please note that class participants will not be utilizing the outlines found in the fifth edition workbook, but the weekly reading assignments will follow the sixth edition DVD presentation. Once the new books arrive in our warehouse upgrades will be available by calling the GFI customer care center. Specific upgrade instructions will be included with your order.

Regarding the content of the 6^th edition DVD presentation.

Motivated by the single goal of helping a new generation of expectant parents navigate the unfamiliar territory of nurturing a newborn, the sixth edition Preparation for Parenting series is immensely practical and understandable. The series contains five visits, tracking two newborns and their families from birth to six months of age. Fast moving, engaging and filled with visual examples, the new Preparation for Parenting appeals to the contemporary learning styles of the present generation while delivering the timeless message; that parenting in the mind of God is a Kingdom issue that has social implications.

Nursing mothers know to be careful with their diet.  That extra spicy meal may be wonderful now, but you are likely to pay for it later when your 5 month old is up half the night fussing.  But some food culprits can be less obvious.  That decaf mocha frappachino might seem like a harmless treat on a hot summer day, but the smallest amount of caffeine can cause a baby to be fussy and restless for hours into the day….and night.  (Yes, decaffeinated coffee AND chocolate contain caffeine)

If your breastfed baby is having a difficult time with naps and night time sleep, keep track of what you eat for the next few days to see if your diet might be part of the problem.

Used with permission from the Forever Young blog

Sleep props come in all shapes and sizes.  You’ve done a wonderful job making sure that your baby hasn’t become dependent on being rocked or nursed to sleep.  Now use those same ideas when thinking about “where” he sleeps.

For those with younger infants, it’s helpful to begin early putting baby down for naps in different rooms of the house, once or twice a week.  If you have a portable bassinet or portable crib, that’s great, but a playpen works well too, as well as a stroller that can fold down flat for napping.  Once baby is too big for the bassinet, you can still use the playpen for this purpose.

Once your baby is about 6 months old or older, there will be a bit more re-training involved.  Some find it helpful to start with the nighttime sleep in the playpen, others choose naps – the idea is to pick what suits your family best and begin to help your little one work through learning this new skill of falling asleep elsewhere besides his crib. Try starting by placing his playpen or portable crib in his room next to his crib and using it for sleep for a couple of nights or naps in a row.  Once he’s got that down, try moving it into another room of the house, for his naps for a day.  Once he’s fine with napping in it where ever it happens to be, he can move back to his crib, but have him take a nap in the portable crib now and again (once or twice a week) so that it will still feel familiar to him when you do need to use it away from home.