Earlier this year we set our sights on scripting, writing and taping the GIFT series (a contemporary DVD presentation focusing on parenting children between the ages of three to eight years). However, in late January we took what we thought would be a short detour to update the Preparation for Parenting curriculum. That detour turned into a major journey leading to a fully revised DVD presentation and workbook. With the aide of sixty-member support cast and after eight hundred production hours, we are pleased to announce that the DVDs will be in the GFI warehouse on September 7, 2010, and available for U.S. shipping destinations on that date. If you are planning to lead a Preparation for Parenting class this fall, here are a few facts to consider when preparing your schedule.

Regarding the DVD series: Introductory Price: $39.00

Whether a seasoned Preparation for Parenting leader, or a first time purchaser the introductory price for the new series makes it very affordable to upgrade to the sixth edition. This introductory pricing expires on October 30, 2010. (Student workbooks are not included in the price.)

Regarding the updated 6^th edition Preparation for Parenting workbook:

While the newly revised Preparation for Parenting workbook were fully revised and expanded, the book will not be available until late October (2010). However, we have a workable alternative for those starting fall classes using the new sixth edition DVDs.

Regarding starting classes with New DVD series without the updated workbook:

For Prep classes starting this September or October, we suggest leaders provide each family a fifth edition Preparation for Parenting workbook and then replace it when the new sixth edition workbook becomes available. GFI will help underwrite this expense by offering the fifth edition workbook for $3.00 and the replacement sixth edition book for $3.00. Together, the total cost of the two books with shipping will be less then a standard order under normal circumstances.

As a Prep Leader, please note that class participants will not be utilizing the outlines found in the fifth edition workbook, but the weekly reading assignments will follow the sixth edition DVD presentation. Once the new books arrive in our warehouse upgrades will be available by calling the GFI customer care center. Specific upgrade instructions will be included with your order.

Regarding the content of the 6^th edition DVD presentation.

Motivated by the single goal of helping a new generation of expectant parents navigate the unfamiliar territory of nurturing a newborn, the sixth edition Preparation for Parenting series is immensely practical and understandable. The series contains five visits, tracking two newborns and their families from birth to six months of age. Fast moving, engaging and filled with visual examples, the new Preparation for Parenting appeals to the contemporary learning styles of the present generation while delivering the timeless message; that parenting in the mind of God is a Kingdom issue that has social implications.

Nursing mothers know to be careful with their diet.  That extra spicy meal may be wonderful now, but you are likely to pay for it later when your 5 month old is up half the night fussing.  But some food culprits can be less obvious.  That decaf mocha frappachino might seem like a harmless treat on a hot summer day, but the smallest amount of caffeine can cause a baby to be fussy and restless for hours into the day….and night.  (Yes, decaffeinated coffee AND chocolate contain caffeine)

If your breastfed baby is having a difficult time with naps and night time sleep, keep track of what you eat for the next few days to see if your diet might be part of the problem.

Sleep props come in all shapes and sizes.  You’ve done a wonderful job making sure that your baby hasn’t become dependent on being rocked or nursed to sleep.  Now use those same ideas when thinking about “where” he sleeps.

For those with younger infants, it’s helpful to begin early putting baby down for naps in different rooms of the house, once or twice a week.  If you have a portable bassinet or portable crib, that’s great, but a playpen works well too, as well as a stroller that can fold down flat for napping.  Once baby is too big for the bassinet, you can still use the playpen for this purpose.

Once your baby is about 6 months old or older, there will be a bit more re-training involved.  Some find it helpful to start with the nighttime sleep in the playpen, others choose naps – the idea is to pick what suits your family best and begin to help your little one work through learning this new skill of falling asleep elsewhere besides his crib. Try starting by placing his playpen or portable crib in his room next to his crib and using it for sleep for a couple of nights or naps in a row.  Once he’s got that down, try moving it into another room of the house, for his naps for a day.  Once he’s fine with napping in it where ever it happens to be, he can move back to his crib, but have him take a nap in the portable crib now and again (once or twice a week) so that it will still feel familiar to him when you do need to use it away from home.

Nearly every week, I get a question similar to the one below:

“It seems like every time my newborn is just about to fall asleep, he hits himself in the face and wakes himself up.  I’ve tried swaddling him, but I when I try this, he works himself out of it and the crying just gets worse.”

One of the common culprits to good sleep training, in the early months, is the “startle reflex.”  You have probably seen this in your own baby when he is just about ready to drift off to sleep and suddenly his little arms flail up and he wakes himself up.  This can also happen in the middle of the nap when baby is passing from one sleep cycle to the next.  Swaddling can often help with this issue.

To be most effective, you need to practice getting a good swaddle that is difficult to “wiggle” out of.

Try using an over-sized, lightweight, baby blanket.  Since it’s often hard to find one that is large enough, I made all of mine by just taking a very large piece of baby flannel and hemming the edges.  It needs to be large enough so that you cross his arms across his chest and then wrap  him up, from the arms down, like a little burrito.  Usually 2 to 2  1/2 times around is enough to keep the best escape artists wrapped up.  Now, this isn’t going to work well if you have a little one who likes to suck his fingers or thumb, but at least give the swaddling a try with one arm secured and see if that helps.

• Think For Yourself: Okay, this isn’t my personal reason. This is from Toddlerwise. “The less skillfully you think, the more others will think for you” (page 63). There is a lot of knowledge available out there. There are a lot of differing opinions on how to raise children. No two systems are the same, obviously. If they were, there would be no need for both. When you read several different theories, you run the risk of confusing yourself and creating inconsistencies in your parenting. However, reading different theories can give you a deep pool of knowledge to draw from. You will be most successful at this if you understand your Beliefs and Goals (Toddlerwise) (found in this chapter) and can problem solve using those beliefs and goals (see Problem Solving Using Beliefs, Goals, Why, and How ). You must be able to discern what is right for you and your family. No book can tell you that. If you rely on a book, or several books, you will all be confused.
• Children Are Individuals: I have three children. While they all have similarities with each other, no two have been the same. When I had my second child, I had to consciously tell myself that she was not my son. She didn’t have the same preferences he did. For example, he hated to be cold. She hated to be hot. I could not treat her as the same baby that he was. My third child is, naturally, also an individual person. I haven’t had to remind myself to treat her as an individual now that I have been skillfully practicing that for over two years, but I have recognized that she is her own self. No book can successfully tell you what to do with your individual child unless you write it yourself, and by then it will be after you have problem solved and gotten to know your child. You need to learn how to think so you can take the principles you agree with and want to apply to your family and turn them into reality for your individual child.
• Books Are Short: No book can possibly cover every scenario you will ever encounter. You wouldn’t be willing to pay the price for that book–it would cost too much . If you know the “why” behind what you are doing, you can tailor things to your child as an individual. If you rely on “if X then Y” statements, then you will find yourself in a panic when X happens and the book didn’t cover it.
• Children Are Human: Your child is a human, not a math equation. She has emotions and physical pain and a mind of her own. Perhaps “If X then Y” is often true for your baby and for most babies. But along comes a moment when “If X is not Y”–it is actually B, or more accurately, some obscure letter you have never heard of before. Yes, this happens. If you rely on a list of equations, you will often be applying a remedy that is not going to solve the problem. And, interesting to note, that as you progress in mathematics, the problems become abstract. I don’t have personal experience with this as an English major, but my husband, the engineer, tells me this is true. So even advanced math is not as simple as “If X then Y.” Your child, the human, is more complex than any math problem.
• Bumps Are Normal: Without a doubt, even the easiest baby will come to bumps in the road. As I said, babies are human. Humans are not perfect. Your baby is no more perfect at being a baby than you are at being a parent. If you have bad days, if you make mistakes, rest assured your baby will too. Sometimes bumps are something predictable like a growth spurt. Sometimes bumps might just be because your baby is having an off day for a reason you will never know. The reasons for bumps are as varied as children are themselves. No book can predict all bumps and therefore it cannot tell you what to do in every situation. You need to know the why behind what you are doing so you can access the situation and handle it appropriately.

I hope I have effectively convinced you to learn how to think. If you haven’t done so, get your hands on this chapter, The Land of Good Reason, and read it. I think it is even valuable for a parent of a one month old. It will help you see the bigger picture of what you are doing and help you avoid becoming legalistic in your parenting.

My Blog: http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/