One of the most fun times was introducing our daughter to the amazing tastes of food! What funny faces and great pictures! It can be challenging for some babies to make the transition so here are a few guidelines to get you started.

Once baby has overcome the initial time period of tongue thrusting and has learned how to take in rice cereal and baby food well, it’s time to start introducing solid foods.

When you first put your baby in the high chair begin training “High Chair Manners” by teaching your baby to keep his hands either under or down on the tray while Mommy feeds baby. Physically hold baby’s hands in this position until you baby understands the expectations and starts to do on their own. This is one of the first steps in teaching self-control and you will find this practice rewarding in the long run!

The highchair is also a great place to begin teaching sign language. Teach “Please” first. When your baby indicates he would like something say the word please and take his little hand and slide it across his chest a couple times. This takes many months but persevere and the results will be a wonderful help to your family. Other signs to work on once “Please” has been accomplished are “More”, “All Done”, “Down please”, “Thank you”. For a complete list of signs and diagrams see Babywise II.

My previous post discussed example timing of how to work your baby’s eating to your times. Until the age of one a liquid feeding should precede a meal.

Many Mommies choose to wean during the time period between 9-12 months, and begin formula. In our busy lives today its common for breast milk’s supply to decrease and therefore the need to wean to a bottle. Remember to be careful how much formula you give in comparison to a diminished milk supply. If  given too much baby may not show interest in eating the new food’s. Slowly decrease the amount of formula a little bit. Babies and children have a perfect internal mechanism that lets them know when to stop eating both liquid and solids. Another option is to give half of the bottle feeding prior to a meal and then offer the second half after. If refused then you know they have a had enough.

At each meal continue to feed baby food first with “little hands down”. Then soft finger foods can be placed on the tray with instruction given that baby may now pick up the food. Parents may enjoy dinner while baby is working on the finger foods.

Ideas include bananas, soft cooked veggies and fruits, cereals. While whole milk is not to be given until one year old Yogurt may be introduced at 9 months. Between 9-12 months most babies tire of baby food and are more interested in what is on your plate. We cooked our daughter’s food without seasoning initially to ease her into our family’s favorite foods. You can introduce all your family favorites mashed and cut small. Of course watch for choking concerns.

I took advantage of this time period to do some research on new healthy and nutritious ideas for our family. I have changed and added many foods since the addition of our daughter to our family.

This transition is a slow but very fun process, hope these tips are helpful and happy eating!

In the first year of my daughter’s life I had numerous questions, and the most challenging ones were all the many transitions we went through with eating and sleeping times. The first few months of feedings were alot about learning the cries of our daughter and evaluating her needs. We had learned about parent directed feeding in theory but there was definitely a learning curve. Most days it felt a little like a guessing game that I got just a little better at some days. It was when she was able to get on a 4 hour routine we really were able to relax and enjoy the consistency in our new family’s life.( For a more detailed explanation of Parent directed feeding please see Babywise or Along the Infant Way.)

Here’s an overview of the first feedings and an example of what the 4 hour routine looks like for our family.

Babies who are on a parent directed feeding routine begin life by taking a feeding every 2 and 1/2 to 3 hours, by the time they are 4-6 months moving to a 3 to 4 hour routine. Between 4-6 months rice cereal should be introduced once a day in addition to the liquid feedings.

Soon after baby foods are introduced, a new one every 3 days to watch for food allergies. It’s common for babies to take many weeks to learn how to take food into their mouth. Take your time and be patient.

Your goal should be to get your baby on an approximate four hour routine, again this takes time.

Here’s an example of how this worked for our family. These times are approximate within a half hour.

8:00am Bottle / Nurse
8:30am Rice cereal mixed with breast milk, Fruit baby food
10:00am Nap
12:00pm Bottle / Nurse
12:30pm Vegetable baby food, Fruit baby food
2:00pm Nap
4:00pm Bottle / Nurse
6:00pm Vegetable baby food, Rice cereal
Introduce solid finger foods while Mom and Dad eat dinner
7:45pm Bottle / Nurse
8:00pm Sleep for the night

Until your baby is a year breast milk or formula feedings are a must. Remember your baby has learned new physical skills by this time and will be needing the additional calories. Snacks are optional however we found them unnecessary until liquid feedings were eliminated at a year and our daughter was walking therefore requiring more calories.

My next post will cover transitioning baby from baby foods to solids.

Our son Brayden recently turned three. Before he did, I of course read On Becoming Childwise. While I was reading it, one section really jumped out to me for him. It was the section about providing the “why” of your moral training to your child (starting on page 79). I especially like the thoughts about teaching your child we do things because that shows love.

The Golden Rule. Treat others how you would want to be treated. My minor in college was speech communications. Through those studies, I learned of another rule: the platinum rule. This rule states that you treat others how they want to be treated. This is an excellent way of treating people. Anyone who is married can attest to the fact that two people do not want the same response in every situation. In most cases, for me to treat my husband would want me to treat him is far different from how I would want to be treated.

That is a tangent and above the analytical skills of a three year old. Back to the Golden Rule. I had already introduced this rule to my son. My son can probably be best described as dutiful. I have to be careful of what I tell him because he carries out my instructions as well as he can. He also has a rather large capacity for sympathy and empathy for others. Despite these qualities, we were still having troubles with sharing with his little sister. I don’t want to discredit him. By troubles I mean that I often found myself reminding him that he needed to share. He would then do so. Things were slowly progressing, but I found myself repeating my instructions to him every couple of days. I wanted him to naturally share.

I attempted to reach this goal by saying, “Brayden, do you like it when Kaitlyn shares her toys with you?” He would always respond, “Yes.” Then I would tell him that he needed to share with her so she would want to share with him. He would then hand her a toy. Sometimes I would follow it up with, “Doesn’t that make you feel good to share!” He would kind of nod.

I doubt it really did make him feel good to share because he wasn’t sharing for the right reasons. I was attempting to use the Golden Rule, but I was missing the mark. After reading through Childwise, I came to realize I was trying to motivate him to share by putting forth selfish reasons. I thought those reasons would appeal to a 2.5 year old. Ultimately, I don’t want him to share only to get something in return. I want him to share even if he gets nothing back. I want him to do nice things for others not for the physical reward or the many thanks received, but because it does make him feel good inside. Because being kind and serving others shows our love for others, as well as for the Lord. How was I going to get there?

I got there by emphasizing the love part of it. I read Childwise on a plane while my husband and I took a vacation without the kids. When we got home, I was very excited to put this new idea into practice. The next time Brayden was hesitant to share, I changed my approach. I asked, “Brayden, do you know why we share with Kaitlyn? We share with her because that shows her that we love her. When you share with Kaitlyn, she knows you love her.” That is all I said. I didn’t further lecture and insist that he share. He thought about that for a minute. He then chose a toy and shared with her.

I soon found that I wasn’t repeating myself to share like I had been. Just like that, he began sharing. Yes, we do have our days I remind him the reasons we share, but instead of being every couple of days, it is every couple of weeks. Vast improvement. Soon after I had introduced this new idea to Brayden, we went out to dinner as a family. The waitress brought Brayden an ice cream cone at the end of the meal. He was enjoying it and was soon sharing licks with me and with Kaitlyn. He wasn’t, however, offering any to his Daddy. I quietly whispered to Brayden that he could share some with his Daddy too. He responded that he didn’t want to. Instead of lecturing him that he wasn’t being nice and that if he couldn’t share I would take the cone away, I simply said, “If you were to share a lick with Daddy, that would show him how much you love him.” I left it at that. He was soon passing his Daddy his ice cream cone to share.

Children are loving. They want to be good. They want to show their love. When we put faith into the innate pureness and goodness of children, and show them how they can express that, they far exceed our expectations. Of course they need reminding and further training, but they can do it. They have pure, willing hearts. They aren’t born knowing what is appropriate and how to express different emotions (and what is appropriate varies from family to family and culture to culture), but as we train them, they will likely surprise us on how willing they are to learn, and how quickly they respond to the correct method of training for them.

http://babywisemom.blogspot.com/

Normally I enjoy writing on this blog to share my small parenting successes while practicing the amazing tools taught to us in Growing Kids God’s Way. I also sincerely hope my writing is encouraging to other parents too. However I thought I’d share from a difficult day, for the same purpose, to encourage you.

It’s Monday morning after a busy weekend. I have told you before I am not a morning person. The whining commences immediately, and I began to get frustrated quickly. All the old standby discipline techniques are not even phasing her. Every single part of our routine is greeted with an “I don’t want to”, then crying, next tantrum, discipline, “I’m sorry Mommy”, Do it all again. It was one of those days when I was wishing for the pre-talking time.

It was soon after a forced and seemingly unsuccessful devotion time that God reminded me about something the Ezzo’s had said once. Some days your child will seem to have woken up “with a death wish.” Today she had, and she was prepared to take me down with her.

I was thinking “Why is today so tough?” I thought through the lack of routine and stability the weekend had presented. Family and friends had kept us going and there was probably a little too much fun. Hmm…what she really needs is exactly what she says she doesn’t want.

SO what did I do? I pushed through the routine and eliminated choices. There was whining, crying, and I didn’t see much of a happy heart all day. She continued to stick it to me until the bitter end. But at the end I cuddled her, had her “Look me in the eyes” and told her how much I love her.

Tuesday morning arrives and I do a minute of deep breathing before going in to greet her, and there she is my smiling happy baby has returned-well mostly, she is two ya know!

The older my darling gets the more God teaches me about Himself. I can think of many days when I’ve said “God, I don’t want to”, I’ve cried, whined, and even a thrown a grown up tantrum or two. At the end of every day though when I stop and pray He wraps His arms around me and says I love you. And if you will continue to push through tomorrow will be even better.

Question:

“Our 7 month old has been doing so well with his routine and as On Becoming Babywise II says, he is ready to drop to 2 naps a day. Which is great, but now he has more wake time and what can I do to fill up all that time! It seems we are getting into a pattern of using the same 4 or 5 activities, day after day or I’m beginning to become his chief form of entertainment and not sure this is the direction we should be heading. Do you have some ideas for this age?”

Answer:

When planning wake time activities, and especially when you are working on stretching wake time, it’s helpful to think of the activities in two categories: Self entertainment activities and interactive activities.

Try to plan “baby alone” types of activities for the first half of wake time when baby has just been fed and is well rested. Playpen time is the most obvious, but this is also the best time for trips in the car and walks in the stroller since baby is not as likely to fall asleep which then alters his routine. Then for the second half of wake time, plan more interactive things, like playing with him on the floor or even “reading” a book in your lap. This is also a great time for a bath, and even if you have had playpen time earlier in the day, you can always have it again!

If dinner prep happens to fall in the time that your baby needs more interactive play, try setting him in an infant seat and bringing him into the kitchen with you. When mine were this age, I would do a “cooking show” play by play of what I was doing while I cooked.

Attached below is a list prepared by a mom. It has some great ideas that will actually take you up to age Five!

Activities for Babies

(0-12 Months)

Alone

Pop Up Toys
Mobiles
Swing
Johnny Jump Up
Baby Mirror
Soft Blocks
Toys That Can Be Chewed
Books (Cloth)
Crib Gyms
Infant Seat (To See Things from Different Perspectives)
Bouncy Chair
Rattles or other toys that make sounds

Mom And Baby

Feeding
Rocking
Play Time On Blanket (Mom Helps Baby Develop Skills)
Singing/Eye Contact/Rhymes
Read
Bath Time
Walking

Activities for Toddlers

(18 Months - 2 Years)

Alone

Playtime in Crib/Playpen
Play Center (Theme)
Blanket Time
Magnetic Numbers/
Letters on Refrigerator
Dress Up
Shape Sorting Toys
Limited Free Time
Sit Time with Books
High Chair Toys
Paint with Water
Large piece Puzzles
Nesting/Stacking Toys
Listening Tapes

With Mom

Cooking Time (Real Or Play)
Stamping/Stickers
Rice/Corn Meal Play
Throwing Bean Bags in Container
Reading
Prayer Time [at meals and bedtime]

Outdoor Play all supervised

Walk
Baby Pool
Paint with Water On Patio
Sand Box
Bubbles
Outdoor Toys

Activities For Preschoolers

(2 Years - 5 Years)

Alone

Color
Playdoh
Toys at Table
Stamping
Finger Paint or Paint on paper with water
Peg Boards
Sit Time/Blanket Time
Listening Tapes
Magnet Numbers/Letters On Refrigerator
Water Play at Sink
Books
Computer [limited]
Lego’s
Sticker Books
Puzzles
Chalkboard
Picture Time
Stencils
Room Time
Video time [limited 30 min. per day]
Dress Up
Learning to use a pencil - print letters
Stringing Beads
Lace Cards
Corn Meal/Rice Play
People/Animal Figures
Lincoln Logs
Mini Trampoline

With Mom

Cut With Safety Scissors
Cooking
Reading
Prayer Time
Finger-paint
Games
Crafts
Character Quality Explanation/Stories

Chores (Training)

Watering Plants
Picking up toys on Patio
Sweeping
Putting Silverware Away From Dishwasher
Cleaning Fronts of Appliances
Window Washing
Set Table
Folding Laundry
Dusting
Cleaning Mirrors

Outdoors [*with direct supervision for sure]

Swim *
Chalk
Sand Box
Walking
Shaving Cream on Picnic Table
Gardening *
Water Hose *
Bubbles
Riding/Outdoor Toys
Paint with Water

For a more extensive list, see What Every Child Should Know Along the Way By Gail Martin. It is on sale now at GFI.org.