We all had those dreams about what kind of parents we were going to be when we had children. I say, “had those dreams,” past tense, because those dreams usually begin to fade as the reality of parenthood takes over. We were going to be calm, loving, compassionate, full of wisdom, never utter a careless or unkind word, and certainly never be in a hurry. Most of us also had dreams about what kind of children we would have: sweet, well mannered, intelligent, obedient, cheerful, never selfish, or rude, or LOUD, or messy.

When we had our first child, I was 29 and my husband was 40. I must admit I thought this parenting business was going to be a breeze. After all, I was no youngster by now, and having grown up in a large family of 5 girls I had plenty of experience with younger siblings; my husband, Tom and I both had college degrees, and we just knew that we were well equipped to handle whatever challenges parenting might bring.

The Lord has many ways to teach us humility, and I believe that parenting is one of His favorites. Within five years, we had three small children, and in retrospect, I can honestly say that I did just about everything wrong those first five years. My husband had a better grasp on the situation than I did, but I was unable (or unwilling) to see his wisdom at that time, and I seldom took his advice or followed his recommendations. Because we did not agree on just about anything that had to do with the children, the kids capitalized on our lack of unity, and things went from bad to worse. Chaos reigned, and we had whiny, demanding, self-centered, “high-maintenance” children to show for it. Dinner was seldom on the table at a reasonable hour, bedtimes were sporadic, and children’s videos and preschool provided my only moments of respite from our demanding children.

I tell you all of this to let you know that creating a peaceful home did not come naturally to me. Some people are naturally structured. I had to learn the hard way. As the three children and my many other responsibilities got harder and harder to manage, I began to sink into depression. At that time the realization finally hit me that I wasn’t just “playing mother,” I WAS a mother! The hard reality was that for good or for ill, these three little eternal souls were going to be shaped by the example set by me and by their father, and that I HAD to do a better job than I was doing of managing my home and my children.

As I began to cry out for help, the Lord provided several tools to help us begin to get our family under control. One of these was an a Growing Kids God’s Way course, which began to bring unity to our marriage, and helped us to see the importance of training our children’s hearts to obedience. Another tool was this idea of structure and routine. After a few short months of putting these principles into practice, the difference in our home was nothing short of miraculous. There was a peace, a sense of order, and yes, a joy that I would not have believed possible a short time before.

Visit Tom and Evangeline Reed’s web site a Ezzotruth.com.

Anne Marie Ezzo forwarded an email to Hank and me back in November with an opening sentence that read, “Of all people who can relate to what the Daily’s are going through, thought about the two of you.” Gary and Anne Marie had been praying for us and with us regarding our son Caden who had faced medical battles for over three years at that point. The email that Anne Marie sent was an update sent to some of the Growing Kids community concerning the status of little Titus Daily. Becky had given birth to Titus only a couple of weeks earlier. Titus was the fifth boy to join the Daily family. Titus was in the NICU at Medical City in Dallas and facing some very challenging medical issues. While there have been some similarities in what our families have experienced from a medical perspective, Paul’s email updates have provided some great spiritual insights and encouragement that can be applied to just about any family.

The Daily family has graciously allowed us to share their insights and lessons learned through the many medical issues they have faced with Titus over the past five months. We believe that these wonderful insights will bless you as you strive to raise your children to glorify God.

“It is wonderful having Titus home from the hospital, but also tiring. In the course of the day, Titus is fed every 3 hours (10-30 minutes), he has a nebulizer treatment 4 times today (15 minutes) followed by CPT (15 minutes - continuous percussive therapy - where we pound his back with this suction cup thing), another breathing treatment twice a day, eye drops 4 times a day, cleaning his jaw pins/g-tube 4 times a day, and general therapy on motion/movement throughout the day. We have reduced his feedings at night from 2 feedings to one - which is a huge blessing to only have one of us get up once a night. Becky slept all night last night for the first time in weeks. Titus is still on oxygen (at very low settings). We are becoming quite adept at carrying him around the house with this oxygen hose trailing behind and taking him to the doctor/church with portable tanks. Since Titus is on oxygen, he is also on a pulseoximeter - which monitors his heart rate and oxygen saturation levels. But, if Titus is kicking his foot (where the monitor is attached) or squirming, the meter doesn’t read, and the alarms go off. Imagine this happening about 20-30 times a day - generally at night! The doctor also suspects that Titus may have allergies which is causing the excess congestion. We have a suction machine to help with that several times a day if we feel it is affecting his breathing. On top of the daily routine, Titus generally has 2-3 doctor’s appointments during the week, which also means the schedule needs to be adjusted to fit within the time frame and drive to the doctor.

And, along the way, there are 2 other boys that need to be home schooled and two 3-year olds that need structure and routine (and long naps in the afternoon). The reality of the routine can be overwhelming - and on certain days it is. The regimen that we follow cannot be deviated from and it’s become an incredible lesson in discipline and obedience. Becky and I were discussing that it’s easy to follow a routine if you know where it’s headed, but it’s difficult to consistently day-after-day follow the same routine and not know what the end result will be or see immediate results.

As I was contemplating our routine, I thought about Noah. It took Noah 120 years to build the ark - and he had no idea what the end result was really going to be. And yet, the Bible does not tell us much about that 120 year span. But for 120 years, Noah cut down trees, made lumber, prepared a foundation, built a boat, created barrels and barrels of pitch to coat the ark with . . . He did all the tiny tasks - day in and day out - to complete the plan exactly as God told him too. Along the way, he had 3 sons, raised those boys, watched them get married, maintained his marriage and livelihood and relationship with God, and still built the ark. I wonder - did Noah get tired of cutting down trees and picking out the splinters from his hands? Did he ever question why he was doing it? Did he ever get rid of the smell of pitch/tar? Did he ever take a day off? Did he ever question God’s plan? It will be interesting, one day in Heaven, to sit down with Noah and ask him those questions. But what I do know is what the Bible tells me “Noah did everything just as God commanded him.” Noah must have been faithful with all the little tasks given him to be provided with such a large task. So, we carry on with the little tasks. They may be tiring and we may not know the results for weeks/months or even years to come, but I am reminded - Noah never stopped building that ark until it was complete.”

Paul & Becky Daily
Aidan, Noah, Tucker, Cade, & Titus

“…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” Galatians 5:22-23

I have read, memorized, and quoted the above verse numerous times throughout my life as a Christ-follower, however I must admit that I have always cringed inside when I hear the words “self-control”. It’s something I knew I should be working on, but I wasn’t sure how.

I distinctly remember a few years ago, and prior to having a child, talking with a Mom who I knew applied the Growing Kids God’s Way principles. She explained to me how her family’s routine was the best thing that had ever happened to them, and not just for her children. At the time I didn’t really understand what she meant.

Before Isabelle arrived, my husband and I would sleep in late on our days off, then scramble to get what we needed to accomplish done. We rarely led an active lifestyle, and I knew we needed to change. I felt trapped and no matter how hard I tried to follow a “schedule” I never stuck to it. To our friends and co-workers we had our act together, but in our free time we were just plain lazy.

I always had excuses- I worked full-time, volunteered at church, led a small group, so the laziness seemed like a non-moral issue. A grey area that was my choice on how I was to use MY free time.

Then Isabelle burst upon the scene, and I began to stay at home to raise her on most days. I remember as a new Mommy wondering if I would ever sleep in again! Soon I felt the laziness taking over more and more of my free time.

We took the Toddlerwise courses and I started working on goals and a routine for Isabelle. Now there was a little person who was looking to me to learn everything about life, and that was a huge motivation for me to change. Then a light bulb went off, here’s a very practical way I could work on my own self-control.

My husband and I set goals for ourselves including physical, spiritual, and educationally. I made myself a routine, and then incorporated it into our family routine.

In the past year, I have seen so much progress in my life. I am healthier, more active, studying the bible and cultivating my relationship with Jesus more now than in the past 10 years. We work more on our marriage and have even set aside special time to get more “connected” in the evenings. Because my housework is completed in a timely manner I don’t have to do it after my sweet baby goes to sleep.

Most of all I have very little guilt. I live in God’s freedom and peace when enjoying the down time that is purposely scheduled into my routine.

Now when I feel the laziness and procrastination, that lack of self-control creeping up, I can look at my routine and ask myself, “Do you want to accomplish your goals? and Do you have the freedom to do that now?” It helps me to push through and stay motivated.

As a side note, I make sure to include adequate time for rest and fun! Occasionally we have a “chuck the routine” family day when we have a little extra fun, and Mommy and Daddy take a nap, too.

I know I cannot teach my daughter self-control if she does not see it in me. Our flexible routine has opened my mind to practical ways that we can accomplish our goals and develop self-control.

If the idea of developing a routine seems overwhelming and restricting, start with small goals and chunks of time. You can do it and God will bless your efforts to train your entire family by using your time wisely.

It’s absolutely amazing, profound, and life changing when a new life moves within you…when you feel your baby move from the security of being in your womb then into the world and finally into your arms. You fall so deeply in love that all else pales. It’s the only clear picture of God’s love for me that I have ever truly understood.

There has never been a day that my daughter has not made me laugh, smile, and feel all warm and fuzzy at least once. However, there are days that the monotony of cleaning the highchair AGAIN, or correcting her AGAIN starts to wear on me. I just get tired.

We’ve seen our friends and relatives deal with their two year olds, but only in limited time periods. I hadn’t felt the draining affects of a full day with a two year old, who last week loved listening to Mommy, but today has decided that Mommy’s words are just suggestions.

Recently, I read in The Message paraphrase Proverbs 31:17-18

“She senses the worth of her work,
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.”

I realized I hadn’t read it that way before because I hadn’t studied Proverbs 31 since my work has changed to primarily raising my daughter. I was stirred to change my thinking.

Moms, Do you sense the worth of your work with your children? Do you feel the urgency and importance of your training?

When I don’t “sense the worth” and it all seems too much, I have been praying these verses for myself and as always God is faithful to renew and remind me-we have the amazing privilege, the honor, to raise the next generation of Christ followers.

The following testimony was recently forwarded to me and is posted here with permission. This testimony serves as encouragement to keep pressing on with the biblical parenting principles taught in Growing Kids God’s Way.

Howie’s Testimony

“This past Saturday, we had pre-arranged for a company to come in a clean some of our carpeted rooms. We had given our two children, Joel(11yrs) and Ainsley(8yrs) some instructions about where to play while this was going on. When the man arrived and began cleaning carpet, our kids came in and out a couple of times asking questions and observing the man working. My youngest had asked if she could stand in a adjoining room and watch and I said, “Sure.” My oldest was also watching at a distance and conversing with me from time to time. Both of them were very well behaved. At one point, the man stopped cleaning, cut the machine off and asked, “Can I ask you a personal question?” I said, “Sure.” He then asked me, “How do you get your kids to behave so well and be so polite?” I simply said that we had raised our children on godly, biblical principles from birth. We left the conversation there and he resumed cleaning the carpet. At that moment I began to wonder if God was opening a door to share the Gospel. Well, he finished and I began writing the check, and sensing that God had opened a door, I began sharing my testimony and went right into a Gospel presentation, building on the impression that my kids had made on the man and the source of their witness. He accepted Christ! After he left, my wife and I sat our children down and explained that the witness of their good behavior opened the door for me to share the Gospel with that man! You should have seen their faces when they realized that God had used them to reach that man with the Gospel…it was priceless! Thanks for the Godly principles you teach!
Sincerely,
Howie, Stacie, Joel & Ainsley”